GUIDELINES FOR LEGION OF DOOM TROOPS -Varigated from...
- Before performing guard duty, familiarize yourself with the sound of a tossed pebble, and learn to avoid being distracted by it.
- When performing guard duty, do not stare continually in one direction, but take a moment now and then to look around.
- And while you're pulling guard duty, if anyone shows up with a prisoner transfer or maintenance job, and you don't know about it, arrest them on the spot.
- When you are fighting intruders, do not fight them quietly, but yell "Intruder!" while you still have breath.
- When issued armor or uniforms that contrast with the service environment, respectfully inquire after more sensibly-colored attire.
- Get plenty of missile-weapon practice.
- Don't attack the hero alone or in pairs. The Evil Overlord hired a million of you for a reason.
- Learn how to lead from the rear and command from afar, just like the Evil Overlord does.
- Exercise care in the abuse of oppressed peoples. Many farm implements make effective weapons in the hands of a skilled opponent. Some of those little old men can teach you a thing or two about hand-to-hand, too. And it would be just your luck for the villager you pick on to actually be the Hero masquerading as one of the villagers.
- Test your armor's ability to stop a minimum of one sword thrust, and if it does not give at least this much protection, respectfully inquire after more.
- Make sure that your headgear allows for a useful field of vision.
- Remember that if the Hero and/or his comrades are being purposefully allowed to escape, there is no need for you to get killed in your effort to "prevent" the escape.
- If a prisoner suddenly takes ill, notify the Evil Overlord and await his instructions. Do not go into the cell to examine him/her yourself.
- If you're on patrol and your partner mysteriously disappears, call for backup before you go look for him.
- If your unit's name contains words like "Imperial", "Elite", "Supreme", "Tactical", "Storm" or "Special", request a transfer as soon as possible. These guys always get clobbered first when the Heroes attack.
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